jhgk

i gave you a chance when nobody else would, or should have. hell, you warned me against it. but what do i do? i pushed. i came out to friends. we got together. i was open in public, despite the fact that i had only been out for a few days. it was good. then it felt like we were limited. i came out to my parents, so that we didn't have to hide anymore. i fucking loved you. and what did it get me? 4 days of tears and anger and sadness and the worst feeling i have ever felt in my entire life. people told me "no, shelby, relationships are soooo much drama. it's not that great." WHY DON'T I EVER FUCKING LISTEN TO SHIT LIKE THAT? i'd be in a much better place right now.

but then the other side of me questions; would i? i'd have missed out on, quite honestly, the best 4 months of my life. i can't say i don't still love you, because i do. so much. that's the only reason that this hurts so god damn much. that's the only reason that i'm so broken over this.